Forced to Write
Any of you who have ever taken a class where you are required to write a piece of creative writing fiction can understand how frustrating it is to be forced to write. In my experience, nothing good ever comes out of the pencil or fingers when someone is constantly hovering over my shoulder, commanding I write this way or that way, sneering at my ideas, and practically demanding I change part of my soul. A bit dramatic? Probably. Completely true? Absolutely.
Classes
This semester, my last fall semester, has been a rough one, and it's only October! Not that I hate any of my classes. In fact, I quite enjoy the majority of them, which doesn't happen quite often. The reason this semester has been so hard on me is because of the Advanced Creative Writing class I have to take. Yes. HAVE to. I love writing. It is my greatest passion in life. Nothing relieves my concerns or lifts my spirits like writing can. But, not when it is, again, forced out of me.
We have to write a short story for the class, which will then go through the workshop process. For those of you who don't know or haven't experienced a workshop, it can be a very helpful opportunity for writers of all levels. I've loved workshops, as it gives me the other eyes I need on my work. It can be very hard to sit there silently as you listen to everything that is wrong with your work, but all in all, it can be very beneficial.
The hardest thing for me when it comes to workshops in classes, however, is that those reading it are being forced to read it, just like I was forced to write the piece. Double negative. Double negative. Not fun.
If you didn't want to write the piece, and the people reading it don't want to read the piece, I find it hard to believe that anything positive or constructive will come naturally out of the work.
That is why the semester has been rough. And that is why I write when it's not forced. Because when I write when I have to, I tend to take a negative approach which inevitably leads to some of my worst work I've ever seen.
Take a Breath
Wow. As you can see, the frustration of forced writing has really gotten to be lately. Which is exactly why I needed to write this blog post. So I can write something I want to write for people who want to read it! Because if you're reading this right now, I know it's not because you're forced to. It's because you're genuinely interested. And I appreciate it! Thank you!
Lucky You
And so, for sticking with me through my ranting and raving, you now get to read about my fourth random fact for writing A Secret Fire.
Shocking
It was for me, anyway, that my book was published. After all, I was not planning on having it published, let alone having it leave my eyes to anyone else. I wrote it solely because Emma and Thatcher's story needed to be told.
I had the idea for so long that it was festering inside me, screaming at me each and every day. It wanted to be on paper. It needed to be on paper. And when I finally relented, it took off like I could never have imagined.
I was so excited how it was turning out that I couldn't help myself. I blurted out to my little sister that I was writing a story. A story that I was going to finish.
Embarrassing
I do not want to admit this, but I have to. Mostly because you've stuck with me for this long, you might as well get something funny out of all of this.
Before A Secret Fire, I had never finished a story. In my life. I had never finished anything. The only final drafts I've ever had of things were of my poems. Not even short stories had a I fully finished. This, for a Creative Writing major, is kind of ridiculous. My problem was that I couldn't finish anything because I was afraid of what people would think of what I was writing. Once I started worrying, the story went downhill, and so did my confidence.
So What Was Different
I finally decided, with A Secret Fire, that I was going to write it for me and me alone. Then, in that way, I didn't have to worry about what other people would think. I realized that I had control over it. I didn't have to let anyone read it but me!
Aftermath
Finally, after writing half of my story, I gave it to my sister, Marinda. Again, we were both shocked that I got that far. Marinda had always read everything that I have written, and she always told me that she was disappointed when I never finished anything. So, when I told her that I was for sure going to finish it, and I was already a good eighty pages in, she couldn't wait to read it (I hope, at least).
I gave it to her and waited what seemed like ages. To my sheer delight, however, she finished it within hours! She told me that she really enjoyed reading it, and this boosted my confidence like no other. She's always been great with my writing, but she can't lie, so I knew I should feel good!
After that, I had the courage to give it to my husband, he read ten pages in (a huge deal for a man to read a romance novel) and he said it was really good, too. Now, this man cannot lie. Seriously. He can't. Which is a wonderful trait to have. :)
Decision
It was a huge decision to have the book published. I didn't want to at first, because of my worrying, but after the encouragement of my family, I was able to let go of my fears and let my story out to the world!
THANK YOU!
I just wanted to give a huge thank you to those of you who have read my book. It was such a big deal to me to have people read my work, but each time I receive any feedback on it, I am so grateful that I did it and that my family and husband were there for me.
I really appreciate each and every one of you that have read A Secret Fire! I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I loved writing it! Thank you thank you thank you to all of you!!
Until next time, happy reading!
Deborah
